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It’s time again for the most important sporting event in the world — and I couldn’t care less, even if I was paid handsomely. This is Baseball season and this is America, and while I sound like Glenn Beck via The O’Reilly Factor for a moment I’m actually quite OK with that (for the only time in my life).

Padres fans tire of putrid play

The Padres are sick and tired of losing … at least the GM and the team owner are, but someone forgot to tell the Padres hitters. Note to Phil Plantier… your job is hanging by a thread that you might as well let go, and do the honorable thing and resign! I’ve had conversations with Padres fans on Facebook, and they are starting to resemble a group of Twins fans that I’ve grown to appreciate (and collect). They want manager Bud Black to be terminated as well. So expect big changes in SD because unlike here in Minnesota… winning matters!

One Mauer contract quietly ends

Speaking of Minnesota… Kemps Ice Cream has let its contract with Joltless Joe Mauer of the Bilateral Leg Weakness and .250-.260 batting average expire. It’s his first endorsement loss of his career that I could find online. If he keeps hitting like a backup middle infielder I suspect that this will not be his first celeb deal to go the way of the Great Auk.

Surprising Twins capitalize on lucky draw

On a positive note Minnesota is magically only a game under .500. The St. Paul Pioneer Press posted an amazing article stating that the Twins have so far managed to miss over $1 billion dollars in top line starting pitchers so far this season. The law of averages says this has to change. They cannot keep facing everyone’s third, fourth and fifth starter in every series. When that happens I am afraid that a lot of Minnesotans who have been pleasantly surprised and, in some cases, like myself, are utterly shocked are going to see this team sink like the Titanic.

Impressive, even in a slump

How strong is Yasil Puig? While listening to the Dodgers game on Friday night (6.13.14) Puig hit a 380 ft foul ball with one hand off the bat down the right field line … (he is right handed). In the same at bat he hit a foul ball about 380 feet down left field that went foul as well. He’s in the middle of a pretty rough slump which has brought his average to .326. Apparently he is only human afterall?

Speaking of Cubans in baseball

I think we have another Cuban Missile Crisis out of Oakland. Yoenis Cespidis botched a play in left that could have made a blooper reel except for the fact that he picked up the ball and threw it 300 feet on the fly in 2.9 seconds and gunned down the runner trying to score (after he’d already rounded third!!!) in maybe the greatest outfield assist I’ve seen this decade. Oh and while I’m going all Fidel on the bit … Mark Cuban … please buy the Minnesota Twins!

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