Carlos Zambrano wants a new ballpark. For real. After playing an exhibition series at New Yankee Stadium, the Chicago Cubs ace pitcher told the Associated Press “You come into a ballpark like this and you see great things. You wish that Chicago’d build a new stadium for the Cubs.”

Can you imagine the public outcry if the Cubs tried to leave Wrigley field? I love Wrigley. In my own hyperbolic way, I like to refer to it as the most perfect place on Earth. There’s a great HBO documentary about the Cubs that features grown man after grown man crying when they talk about Wrigley. It’s amazing when you think about it.

There is so much history in that park, but nothing really Earth shaking or game changing, and certainly not much that favors the Cubs. There’s Ernie Banks’ 500th homerun, Kerry Wood’s 20 strikeout game, a few no-hitters scattered through the years, and … um … ivy.

There’s also Babe Ruth’s called shot in the 1932 World Series. There’s The Great Choke of 1969, when the Cubs had a 9 game lead in the National League, only to lose the pennant to the Mets on the last day of the season. There’s the broken promises of 1984 and 1989.

And 2007.

And 2008.

There’s Steve Bartman.

Never has there been a place where so many people want to be, knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that while they’re there they’ll have their hearts broken.

For gosh sakes, the place is 93 years old. And it’s falling apart, too. Mayor Daley even threatened to close it a couple years ago. It doesn’t surprise me in the least that players would feel like the Friendly Confines are a little inadequate.

Just look around the Cubs’ own division. You’ve got New Busch Stadium, The Great American Ballpark, PNC Park, Minute Maid Park (which is 10-years old already!?), and Miller Park. Wrigley is small, dank and I’m willing to bet its rat infested, too. So, why not? Why not tear the damn thing down and build a Cubby Palace?

Glad you asked.

Because, if you take the Cubs out of Wrigley they would lose their allure. They would be just another team with a fat payroll that fails to meet expectations. Outside of Wrigley, they would be the National League’s Detroit Tigers. Inside of Wrigley, they’re the lovable losers who find a way to screw up every good opportunity they get, only to look at their fans, shrug and smile saying “wait ‘til next year”. And the fans eat it up. There’s something about ivy covered walls that eases heartbreak, I guess.

It’s all about Wrigley. That Zambrano would even make an off-handed comment like that shows how far out of touch some players can be with their own fan base. So clearly, someone needs to explain the concept of blasphemy to Big Z.

Someone needs to help him understand that in the face of ridiculous payrolls and steroid scandals, fans need a touchstone to the past. They need Bleacher Bums, packed rooftops and crowds on Waveland Avenue waiting to catch a home run. They need the Friendly Confines. I know the clubhouse sucks, Z, but believe me when I tell you, to a lot of people it’s the greatest room in the world.